Man up Men

Acting tough comes off as pointless to me.   I believe acting “tough” is just an attempt to mask over a lack of self esteem and insecurities with a tough mojo.  Understand using a vast array of obscenities does not make you more “tough” than another person.  Trying to pull others down does not pull you up.  I believe it is weak people that try to bring others down in attempt to build themselves up.  Acting tough is different than being tough.  Trying in school, or being a genuinely nice guy does not make you less ”tough”.  Real toughness is not about bigger, buffer, and meaner than another dude.  It’s not one upping another guy.  Toughness is the ability to be yourself, respect yourself, and stand up for yourself in what you believe and care for.  It is not something that warrants bragging rights.  True toughness is the ability to be more mature than those so-called “tough” people and to not snoop down to their hate.  Being tough is being calm, cool, and collected.  Fighting does not make you tough.  Real toughness is the ability to keep composure and not snap when faced with opposition, hate, or adversity.  “Man up” men.

Stop Complaining, Start Doing

I got something to talk about.  People go around expressing their dissatisfaction with a lot of things.  There’s a lot of stuff to hate on.  “I hate this, I don’t like that, change!”  People bite at the bit to find a reason to hate on something.  It’s basic American culture.  Many people can identify what they hate or dislike, but the issue is few can actually formulate what they would like to see.  So people run around like chickens with their heads cut off yelling for change when they don’t even know what they want.  Sure you can get people to come join your quest to complain but it doesn't solve this issue.  But as Brick Timland (Steve Carell) in Anchorman put it, it’s just “LOUD NOISES”.  It’s a stupid mob mentality to creating change.  Identify a problem and then complain.  That’s garbage.  The solution to a math problem is never gonna be “I hate math”.  It’s real easy to complain, it’s a lot harder to promote a solution.  Problem, reaction, solution.  And frankly, it seems like most people forgot about the last piece of the puzzle.  Solution means you actually have to shift your efforts to achieve good change.  Realize the problems you face, but stop wasting your efforts demonizing current issues and put that effort towards promoting solutions to the problems you face.

“Political Correctness”

Political Correctness:

1. "the avoidance, often considered as taken to extremes, of forms of expression or action that are perceived to exclude, marginalize, or insult groups of people who are socially disadvantaged or discriminated against."

I get peeved over how "politically correct" our generation has become.  "Correct" doesn't mean good.  It has expanded into the idea that we can't do or say anything because there will be someone out there that will have their feelings hurt by it.  That same thought process nullifies culture and individuality.  It is the thought process that turns us all against each other.  It fuels argument and causes us to judge the implications of what other people or things stand by or mean.  It is this culture that pulls the community of humanity apart.  Let’s be cognizant of the fact that we have a freedom of expression.

To clarify, just because I condemn the restrictions of political correctness does not mean I support racism, discrimination, or other forms of violent, hateful or oppressive action.  Political correctness actually fuels prejudice because it causes us profile people based on gender, religion, race, sexual orientation, etc. and treat people differently as result.  It frustrates me.  This is the 21st century, we shouldn't have to behave differently around people because they look or think differently than us.  To treat person differently based on the basket they fit into is disrespectful to the unique nature of individuals.  

I don’t want to converse with people talking through filters, afraid the words they say have implications beyond what they intend.   I want to interact in a world of honest, respectable, and free speaking individuals.  We all have one thing in common, that we are all people.  Let’s just focus on that and look past our personal differences.  Don't hate, appreciate.  Learn to like people for what they are, or at a minimum learn to tolerate them.  It’s often not the person you don't like, but the opinion or belief you contradict with.  I quash the expectations of political correctness.  Sure, there are people out there that will misinterpret this, blow it out of proportion, or simply disagree and shun me with all their might.   But you know what, we will never all be in agreement.  We just have to be cognizant of our differences.

Taking Initiative

Ideas are awesome.  Thoughts have potential.  But this potential is never tapped until action is taken.  It is not until you set foot can you accomplish a goal.  You can't climb a mountain if you never take that first step of the trek.  Likewise, you can't eat a banana without peeling it.  It is that first step, that vital step, that puts dreams into motion.  Stop thinking start doing. 

This question arises to me recently with our fellow classmates becoming unappreciative about our Associated Student Body on campus.  What frustrates me about it is the spread of hate with a lack of meaningful reason.  Remember ASB stands for Associated Student Body which represents the students of Westview.  If you are frustrated with the actions ASB is taking or your voice doesnt seem to be heard, maybe you should consider joining.

My question for you is not why do you choose to hate but rather what do you desire to change.  It is the simple line between immaturity and initiative.
So the question arises; how do we take initiative? 

According to Google, initiative is defined as "the ability to assess and initiate things independently." It is synonymous to motivation.  In order to have initiative we must have a drive, a spark, a passion that pushes us to go further.  We have to have a purpose.  You have to find this purpose; without a drive, there is no need to achieve.  Where is this drive?  You have to look at yourself.  Understand who you are before you  decide how you want to impact others.  Identify what is used to describe who you are.  Find your identity.  Build your identity by learning what you are passionate for.  See what makes you happy.  See what you do that makes others happy.  What do you do that carries a positive impact?  Identify your strengths and weaknesses.   Only once you have a clear understanding of who you you can identify your passions.  Often your passions are what you spend the most of your time doing.  Once you have clear passions you can develop initiative. 

Don't hate, appreciate.  Idea.  Action.  Change. 

Don’t Be Afraid to Be Yourself

"Be yourself, everyone else is taken" -Oscar Wilde

You are you.  Don't be afraid put yourself out there.  You are happiest when act yourself.  Take pride in yourself and understand that you are the coolest person out there.  We all have an inner awesomeness, being true to yourself lets it shine.  Life is not about fitting in, it’s quite the opposite.  Life is about standing out, being yourself and leaving your own special impact on the world.  It’s about being happy.  Never let yourself conform to the wants of society.  Your personality should reflect yourself, not perpetuate a fake image. When people “hate” on who you are, appreciate their acknowledgement of you, but don’t let the crap they say change who you are.  Haters focus on the flaws of those they envy, winners focus on the good in people.  In life we all desire to be happy.  Your self esteem shouldn't be based on the shallow opinions of of others, but rather the respect and love you carry for yourself.  Learning to love yourself is the first step to living a happy life.  People will learn to love you for who you are. You have to put yourself out there.  I cannot help but think of YOLO.  You only live once, so why not put who you are out there, not what society wants you to be.  Only God can judge us.


"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission" -Eleanor Roosevelt 

Friendship is Worth Fighting For

People come and go in our lives, things come and go, times come and go.  Finding the few people who to stay no matter what is what matters.  Those are your best friends. Be the one to stay and be there for your best friends no matter what.  That's what being true friend is: being there at their brightest moments and darkest times.  Always being there for them, not only at your convenience.  Always being there supporting them, loyalty speaks volumes.
 
We all make mistakes and go through difficult times, but it's the support of our friends that keep us from breaking.  There is an impact the moment someone watches their friends vanish and turn a blind eye; their confidence, happiness, self-importance, and self-esteem--- All for the worse.  Don't ever let that happen.  Be the one always there.  Yes matter if people judge you, or if they say —by supporting that person you are supporting a bad cause— YES, you are supporting a best friend, and you are supporting him or her because they have been there for you your whole life.  People learn by example, set the precident.  Be the one person there for somebody no matter what for.  Support them and let them know you care. 

Forgive people please, there's things worth fighting for in life, and friendship is one of them. 

Don't just be another llama, thinking and acting like the masses; stand out.  Think about the Holocaust.  It took someone to stand out from a mob and say what was happening was wrong.  We don't do things in fear of reprocussions or because it is the "norm", we do things because they are right and it is our duty to activity stand for what we believe.  An inch can go a mile.  It is about taking that first step, a first step many dread to take, a first step many pray for.

About a year ago today I was in a predicament: to either stand by my best friend since I was litte, or do the easier option; turn my back and abandon my friend.  Picked the first option.  I am proud.

What's a True Friend?

“A friend is supposed to be somebody you can trust without a doubt, not a person that gives your secrets to the world.  A friend is supposed be someone who is happy for you, not someone who is jealous of you.”

-Trent Shelton

Life isn't about having millions of friends, its about having a few true ones.  Acting like you got 50 friends is pointless if you don't have those few that you can lead on.  Just because you can say what's up to every dude in the "cool" group means nothing if you don't have real friends.  Real friends where you don't need to ask them to have your back, because they always do.  Friends that befriend you because they like you, not for popularity or their own gain.  Just because you have a nice car, doesn't mean now you have 100 more friends.  It is fake friends that like people for material items.  And they don't like you, they like the car and the places they can go in it.  Around real friends you don't try to fit a figure, you just stick out as yourself.  Friends mold us into who we are as adults.  If you spend your whole life trying to fit that "cool" mojo you'll never make a unique identity, in turn making your personality bland as toast.  So focus your energy and time on the people you really care for, the same people that should have the same vested interest in you.  Live a good unique life, yolo.  

"Fake friends are like shadows: always near you at your brightest moments, but nowhere to be seen at your darkest hour."

Church

Roughly half of Americans are religious and half of Americans are happier than other Americans.  Those stats don't match up, but having God in our lives reeks benefits.  For me, Church served as a place of annoyance for years with the objective of mass to space out.  I am a Catholic and not until very recently have I found true importance in faith.  The best thing I've found in the church is it serves as a backbone.  It helps us be confident and keep composure when times get hard.  It helps us to be optimistic and focus our energy on what makes us happy.  More importantly, it helps you to live by good morals, understanding right from wrong and making smarter decisions.  With so many peer pressures, it is one of the few things I can lean on for support.

I recently went to retreat with my church and I've changed considerably as a person.  The amount I learned about god in that short time was astounding.   Making a solid relationship with god has helped me to live a happy life.

“The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”

-Psalm 118:6

Confidence is Key

"Always remember... Rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots."

-Ziad K. Abdelnour

Confidence in individuals is easy to spot.  It is displayed in the way they act, the way they stand, and even how they dress.  The effort they put into their appearance and their desire to stand out from the pack speaks volumes.  They are in control of their surroundings and exude confidence.  People are naturally drawn to confident individuals.

Confidence is a huge factor in developing strong self esteem.  Being confident helps us discover who we are and create our unique identities.  It is confidence that lets us display our true personality to the world.  It allows us to look past trying to be cool and instead focus on being ourselves.  Those who hide under fake personas will never be as happy as those who are true to themselves.  Most people are comfortable with their closest friends.  Confident people are at ease with everyone.  

Confidence keeps rumors and hate from getting to us.  It helps us focus on our own self worth, rather than worrying about how others perceive us.  It is insecure people who hate on others in order to raise themselves.  Don’t step down to their level, be confident. 

Assume the Best

Outlook is everything, and changing our opinion on how we view day to day things has great positives.  Our ability to look at things in a positive manner has great importance on our ability to live a happy life.  If we are constantly complaining about problems in a very negative manner, we are hindering our ability to see improvements.  A good example of this is in social situations.  If you say “hi” to someone and they don’t respond, how do you perceive it?  Did the person not hear you, or does the person not like you? Looking at it in a positive manner rather than a negative one makes the difference.  Make an assumption to look at it in a positive manner.  Changing your outlook takes the blame off you and in effect you will be a more confident person socially, because you won't fear rejection.  As a result, you will become a more happy and social person.  

Why We Should Be Optimistic

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."

 -Winston Churchill

Why be optimistic? Optimism gives you the hope that your ideas will work.  It is this positive hope, optimism, that brings favorable change to our world.  Optimism is a way of life when you pay most attention to the opportunities in a situation. Optimism, along with confidence, are two very important character traits.  I believe it is optimism that works to make us successful.  It makes us go after far fetched goals and try our best to accomplish them. Being optimistic makes us happier because we think more positively about situations and worry less about possible bad outcomes. When life gets hard, or when you face adversity, it is this optimistic outlook that allows you to retain emotional stability.  Optimism helps you not to regret actions and decisions, and instead be confidently satisfied with them.  When you project optimism it will make a better you and a better world.  Nobody wants to hear a doubter, a complainer, or the one that is "burt" on life.  Don't be that person.  Make a difference, be optimistic.

"Pessimists are usually right and optimists are usually wrong but all the great changes have been accomplished by optimists."

-Thomas L. Friedman

Don't Hate, Appreciate

Don't hate, appreciate. It's simple; learn to like people for who they are.  At a minimum learn to tolerate them.  I am grateful I live by this motto because it has made me a happier individual.  It's foolish to go out of your way to complain about how others look or act.  For say, "Her dress is so ugly OMG!"  The problem is not her ugly dress; the problem is YOUR negative attitude.  We all have personal problems, and to waste our energy trying to flaunt other people's flaws is stupid.  Spend less time judging other people and instead use that time to improve your character.  The result is a happier and better you.  Also, the less you complain about these weaknesses, the less you will even notice them in others and yourself. Not letting "haters" get to you will make you a more confident person, and being a confident person is great because you should take pride in who you are.

Why We Should Live a Nonchalant and Carefree Lifestyle

The luxury of not caring what people think about you is amazing.  It allows you to live the life you want to live, do the things you want to do, and feel good about it.  The best part is that you create your own unique identity and people will love you for who you are.  There is no need to act "cool."  I find that when people try to put on the "cool" mojo, they are far less funny and sociable, and in consequence are less happy.  The more carefree you are about what others the think of you, the more you are able to achieve your "best self."  It is human instinct to judge, but as humans we are also blessed with the ability to reason and think beyond our impulses.  Our self esteem shouldn't be volatile based upon other people's judgement, but gained through helping others and yourself.

Why Confidence and Optimism are important to me

To satisfy my need to express my opinion and to help others achieve their "best self", it was paramount to make this blog, "Be Confident and Happy, Keys to Happiness."  Currently a sophomore in high school, making this blog is a new outlet for me, a place to communicate my ideas, thoughts, and opinions.  

I have found the qualities confidence and optimism to be the keys to happiness.  I pride myself on these qualities, and try to applying them on a daily basis.  Confidence is important because it makes me self assured and assertive, and I rarely regret and worry about past decisions.  Optimism continues that same quality as being forward thinking, but also introduces the philosophy of approaching new ideas and situations with a positive mindset.  It is evident that these qualities make a more successful individual in society, one who is self actualizing and has a great sense of self worth.  This blog was motivated by my want to exemplify these values.

Confidence and optimism play a prodigious role in my life today.  As a high school student, homework, grades, sports, family, and high expectations from both myself, peers, and parents all amount to large stresses as a teenager.  If it was not for my optimistic mindset, I am compelled to think that these strainers would be far too much to handle.  I attribute my optimism from my overall calm and relaxed personality I retain during stressful situations, as well as from my church with always serves as an out let for me to express my problems to.  Reducing the stress in my life has made me able to have a vividly bright outlook on my future, and the optimism to know that it is obtainable.  Confidence has played huge for me as I am always able to speak my mind.  Whether for conversation or for input and advice, I feel free to say whatever without regret, and feel joyful doing so.

On this blog I will share thoughts and know-how illustrating how to be a optimistic, confident, and happy individual.  Please enjoy!